Clean Clothes, A Not So Clean League

So, now that I have replaced my Scope covered clothes with clean clothes (I spilled the Scope on my clothes when I finally opened it), I suppose I will talk about the not so clean NFL. (And BTW, the Listerine bottles are no better. They are like a darn medieval helmet, I still didn't figure out how to open them)

It seems the creepiness of Roger Goodell is about as big as John Daly's creepiness, yet, Goodell has only made the citizens of the United States cringe, while the players in his league have just blew the guy off. Adam Jones, Michael Vick, Chris Henry, Dwayne Jarrett, maybe Marshawn Lynch, and now Brandon Marshall (how could you my man?!), plus many more have been either put in jail, or are facing a DUI or a DWI. Which makes me bring up the point: why the heck do they have two terms for basically the same infraction of the law? Maybe they were drunk themselves when they made the laws. Who knows. Anyway, the list just keeps growing, and half of those names have just been added recently, so, it doesn't seem to be slowing down. This is a problem in the league I know and very much love.

First of all, Roger Goodell has done as much as he could to slow this down. But, the NFL is rapidly becoming the butt of all jokes. The NBA used to be the big clown league because a lot of people considered those players "thugs" (come on, besides crazy European soccer fans, who starts a mosh pit in the middle of a game?), but, in a few months, if the NFL keeps up it's rep, it will become the premier thug league and Ron Artest may have to consider a league change. So, here are my tips for Goodell to put the NFL back into order so the courts in Philadelphia stadiums won't have to start being used for players instead of fans.

1. Approve the rule that no alcohol is allowed on organization grounds. This rule is enforced by some MLB teams, and, this could help players maybe driving home from a game not drink, and stay more protected. Plus, it could lower the amount of alcohol they drink, which is a plus for your team.
2. Approve a rule that a player arrested more than three times will face a minimum two game suspension without pay. It will make players more convinced not to get caught, and, if they get caught twice, they will make sure not to get caught again, which could even help their overall attitude after a while.
3. My final suggestion is to approve a rule that every player must take a mandatory drug test once a week. Also, if another player or coach suspects a player not sober, they can report it and a drug test will be taken.

So, those are my three suggestions, now, someone call Goodell and tell him about this because I'm too scared of the guy to do it myself, and if I did it myself, I would ruin the pants I just put on, and we don't want to see that.

Oh, and if you noticed, I actually talked about my blog title in this post, and I did not intend on that. I talked about medieval times, which relates to round tables, and I talked about Roger Goodell. How cooliodiciosius is that?