Phlavio's Corner: Episode 4, A New Hope

5 Minutes Ago In A Borough Not Far Away...

PHLAVIO'S CORNER

It is a period of civil disobedience. Rebel bloggers, striking from a hidden website, have won their first victory against the Evil Sovereignty of Pastime Noxiousity.

During the battle, bloggers managed to steal secret plans to ESPN's new ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR (That's right... the bastards), an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet. (What? You thought it was going to be something sports related?)

Pursued by ESPN's sinister agents (Steve Phillips, Stephen A. Smith, and Joe Morgan), Phlavio Phega races online to his newly created blog, custodian of the stolen plans that can save ... Venus? and restore freedom to the galaxy......

So me writing for a football blog never seemed like a great idea. I will however try to make something of this experience and open up my own blog that will hopefully provide enjoyment for information starved sports enthusiasts. I'll be rounding up a cast of crazies and trying to have daily posts from a cast of contributing writers. That is of course if the stupid homosexual droids can reach Obiwan Kenobe in time.

Phlavio's Corner: Episode 3, Revenge of the Blogger

Fantasy Blogs are great. Don't get me wrong... I love em, but re-hea-hea-heally can't stand them either. They're like a television series with bad karaoke, featuring the illustrious Hugh Jackman. Or A&E specials that inevitably end with Jason leaving rehab after a month and living under a freeway. So listen up Nancy, if you're reading blogs you clearly have to much time on your hands because essentially they're just clutter. Of course this is a blog, but this is different because I'm a narcissistic ego-maniac emulating a man named Percival.

So, Barbara, just ask yourself why you're reading a fantasy football blog written by a guy who has never placed higher then 10th in a league of 12? The answer is that you are so deprived of stimulation at work and so dependent on football to keep you going that you search the internet for football facts rather then porn which was the purpose of the internet in the first place. What I'm trying to say to, Cassandra or Cassie or Cas or whatever your darker surgeon love bunny is calling you these days, is that blogs aren't the problem, but rather those who read blogs. Not my blog of course because I'm a truly gifted blogger.

So before you go crying to your girlfriends about how mean the angry demented sports guru was ask yourself why you were reading this in the first place. Your time might have been better spent catching up on those episodes of the Gilmore Girls you might have missed. I won't tell you things like avoiding quarterbacks in the early rounds, or not missing your chance at top-flight receivers, or to stop wearing that peach scented lip gloss you love so very very much. Honestly Maureen, it looks terrific. What I will tell you to do is to get your face away from the computer from time to time, because you'll never make it as a doctor if you keep reading blogs.

You may now kiss my ring.

3rd Mock Draft Results:
QB: Carson Palmer
RB: Marion Barber
RB: Clinton Portis
RB/WR: Jonathan Stewart
WR: Marvin Harrison
WR: Joey Galloway
TE: Todd Heap
K: Nick Folk
D/ST: Giants
Bench: Jeremy Shockey
Bench: Jerry Porter
Bench: Vince Young
Bench: Cowboys
Bench: Mushin Muhammad
Bench: Deion Branch

Phlavio's Corner: Episode 2, Attack of the Drones

What is a Drone? A Drone is a person who signs up for a fantasy football league. Misses the draft, fixes his lineup once and is never heard from again. This is the problem with joining public leagues you never know what type of group you are going to get. Anyone truly serious is going to join a league that is private and run by a living commissioner. Now I’m one to talk as I go into drone mode after the first half of the season leaves me with a 1 and 7 record, but like I always say, “DON’T BE ME! I’m really not that great.”

If you create a league and someone joins to float idly by like a manatee there are only so many things you can do. You could kick them out, but single season leagues have no appeal for those joining part-way through. You could hound them to get them active, but this might alienate them further. The most subtle way of keeping the league active is by creating content for people to read. I do power rankings, articles and league roundups. This at least gets more people to check the message board.

If you are a drone, rock on, because you are mindlessly supporting Yahoo, ESPN, or whomever’s advertising revenue by signing up for fantasy in the first place. Way to support “The Man!”

Second Mock Draft:

QB: David GarrardRB: Frank GoreRB: Reggie BushRB/WR: Rudi JohnsonWR: Terrell OwensWR: Roy WilliamsTE: Antonio GatesD/ST: New York, GiantsK: Adam VinaterriBench: Santana MossBench: Shaun AlexanderBench: Vince Young
Bench: Jerry PorterBench: Antwaan Randle ElBench: Kevin BossBench: Baltimore, Ravens

The Definition Of Sports

What is a sport? Some say a sport can be something as small as curling.

Well the dictionary says that a sport is "an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature, as racing, baseball, tennis, golf, bowling, wrestling, boxing, hunting, fishing, etc.". Yet the dictionary also says a sport can be an "amorous dalliance" or "to mutate". So I'm not going to follow the dictionary, because I usually don't see Tony Romo and Allen Iverson mutating in the middle of a game into a merman. So here we go; the three rules that I think define a sport.

I will start off with stating every activity that most people view as a sport, and what I believe is a possible sport: football, baseball, hockey, basketball, soccer, volleyball, golf, tennis, poker, dance (cheerleading), competitive eating, cycling, cricket, swimming, badminton, auto racing, curling, billiards, boxing, BMX, track and field, field hockey, figure skating, lacrosse, fishing, gymnastics, rowing, wrestling, polo, rugby, and softball.

1. Physical action with skill. In the game you need to have some kind of action that involves skill where you are moving around or making contact with another player.

Poker, competitive eating, auto racing, billiards, BMX, and fishing are the only activities to not move on. Poker has absolutely no physical action at all (reaching for the potato chips doesn't count). Competitive eating also has absolutely no physical action (eating the potato chips doesn't count either).In auto racing you are just sitting in a car for a while, in billiards you just walk around a table a few times, in BMX you are on a bike most of the time, and in fishing you are mostly sitting.

2. Mental Action. In the game you need to have points where you need to think about what you are going to do and what you need to do.

Dance, curling, figure skating, gymnastics and rowing are the only activities to not move on. They don't move on because in each you already know what you are going to do before it. In dance, you know your moves before you go in. In curling, you there isn't much thinking involved during the action. In figure skating, you know your routine. In gymnastics you also know your routine. Finally, in rowing, there isn't much than can be thought about while you row.

3. Head to head action. At some point in the game you need to be going head to head with another. You need to be battling it out with an opponent.

That takes out none of the activities. At some point in each activity you are racing another, or going 1-on-1 with another.

So we are left with: football, baseball, hockey, basketball, soccer, volleyball, golf, tennis, cycling, cricket, swimming, badminton, boxing, track and field, field hockey, lacrosse, wrestling, polo, rugby, and softball.

That leaves twenty sports, which is a lot less than I thought there would be. I had no planning on sports before this. I just hopped right in and winged it. This is my list.

Some close calls were gymnastics, BMX, and rowing. They qualify for two of the three, but not all three. And that isn't enough to be a sport in my opinion.

All in all, the definition of sports is not a mutation or an amorous dalliance, but is physical action involving skill, mental action, and head to head action.

Note** This is Tuesday's topic, just finished it 52 minutes late of Tuesday if you are on the East Coast like I am.

Phlavio's Corner: Episode 1 The Phantom Blogger

Hello there baseball fans... What? Football? That's the one they play on ice, right? The gridiron? Sounds like a cooking show where they make nothing but waffles. Mmmm... delicious delicious waffles. Anywho, yeah sure, I'll talk about this crazy game with its oblong ball and protective head-wear. For those who don't stalk ESPN blogs and aren't crazy Met fans, I'm a baseball blogger and Phlavio's Corner has been around for about 5 years now providing people with semi-useful commentary on sports-ish type things.

Since this is a Fantasy Football Blog, let's focus on the first thing any fantasy GM needs to do. PRE RANK YOUR PLAYERS. Pre-rankings are an important and crucial step in making sure your team won't draft people way earlier then necessary. Now people will give you strategies about when to take what and all of that shizdonkle, but being that I've never finished in the top half of a fantasy league in football I'm not qualified. I can tell you tried and true secrets to establishing a good pre-ranking.

Buy a fantasy football magazine. Yeah, this is a total cop-out way of ensuring no one will laugh at you after you select a kicker in the second round. The thing to remember is that experts are always wrong. Look at Stephen A. Smith, and Steve Phillips. Want more proof? In the NBA Finals the experts picked L.A. to win in 6, then after game 1 and 2 it was Boston, then L.A. was so totally going to win game 4 it wasn't even funny, then Boston was unstoppable, but at that point... everyone knew. Case in point: Buy a magazine if your lazy, but don't expect it to make you win.

My personal method is made possible by ESPN and their delightful mock-draft. This not only lets you practice your drafting skillz, but also lets you see where the other whack-a-loons are selecting their players. Now there are aspects beyond your control. Your league might be bigger, smaller, or have completely different rules... it doesn't matter. you are simply trying to get into the heads of people you don't know.

Practice your drafting tactics, but be sure not to throw the results away. You'll want to compile your mock draft results in some sort of excel document that allows you to track player selection. I use excel because it allows me to quickly sort through the clutter of moving people up and down. Unfortunately ESPN does not yet have the ability to upload excel documents to set pre-rankings. I will be saving you some of the trouble by posting my own rankings as they progress, but treat my thoughts as you might George W. Bush's on Nihilism.

Until next time,

Peace, Love, and Applesauce

First Mock Team:

QB: Eli Manning
RB: Larry Johnson
RB: Ronnie Brown
RB/WR: Marvin Harrison
WR: Terrell Owens
WR: Anquan Boldin
TE: Tony Gonzalez
D/ST: New York, Giants
K: Nick Folk
Bench: Shaun Alexander
Bench: Philip Rivers
Bench: Deion Branch
Bench: Antwaan Randle El
Bench: Amani Toomer
Bench: Darrell Jackson
Bench: Warrick Dunn

Morons of Monday: Lynch's Long Story

Well here we are, the begining of it all, opening night. We begin with someone who was ridding high, sitting pretty, and amusing Fantasy Owners with his potential. But as of late Marshawn Lynch has had his stock, reputation, and his credibility take a hit with his "Hit-And-Run" incident.

Now I can understand him having this accident, I mean it was around 3:00 A.M., he most likely was under the influence, and probably was out of it. But what really kills me is the fact that Marshawn waits 3 Weeks AFTER the accident to admit to it. I mean i'm sure he knows the fact that if he did in fact hit a person, that they would have went to and told the police by now, and he remainded silent on the topic even with reporters heckling him about it everyday.

What drives a person to just not admit to a crime like that when everyone knows he did it? I mean we know he did it, and he knows he did it, so whats holding him back from admiting? Is he just that stupid that he thinks the media will forget it? Does he think it will just blow over? Whats weird is the fact that he's been a model NFL player up until now, so it just makes me wonder even more why he's done this.

So just as we think the story is behind us as Lynch pleads guilty to hitting the woman, he comes out with this little nugget. He states that he "Didn't know that he hit a person." Now just from my year of driving, I understand and i'm almost certain that if I hit someone I would know that I did. How in the world do you not know if you hit someone? Did he think there was a deer rumagning through the city at 3 in the morning? I'm not sure, but this has to go down as one of the most bonehead things ive seen of this past year. Hopefully he works his life out and doesn't become a repeat offender.

There has been a trend of NFL players getting caught up with the law and then it repeats itself. Players are struggling, but we are not seeing the signs soon enough, I really think that the NFL should be makings some strides with these players who have struggles with the law, they see no hope, and they continue to make these rash decesions. With as much money as the NFL has, it is not out of the question for them to throw some money out and help these players who could be throwing their lives away.

The Week in Review: The Draft, Cinderella, Futbol, and More

It is Sunday, and you know what that means. Well, you don't...yet. It's time for the week in review! (Note: these will not be in any order)

Starting off, we will head to our favorite Nebraskan city, Omaha.
Yes, Cinderella has struck again. Each year, there is always a team who causes a lot of raucous in their respective sport. Well for college baseball this year, that team was the Bulldogs of Fresno State.
Over the week, there was much controversy on whether this was indeed an example of Cinderella. In my opinion, I think it could go either way. Fresno was thought to be a good team at the beginning of the year, and, they just proved it in the end and not the finish.
But, they did have a mediocre record compared to the other big boys, and they were the equivalent to a number 13-16 seed in the men's basketball tournament. So, I'm split, I'll let you decide.

The Giants have signed a big sneeze. The Giants have signed Chris Snee to an extension worth $41.25 million and $17 million guaranteed over 6 years. Twenty-three million will come in the first three years.
This makes Chris Snee one of the top 5 paid guards in the NFL. I say it is a great move for the Giants. Right tackle Kareem McKenzie and center Shaun O'Hara are under contract through 2012, so, this signing just improves their o-line for quite a few years to come.

Roger Goodell is in the news once again this week—for two different things. But, this time the news is good news.
First, Goodell announced that he has no intention of moving the Buffalo Bills to Toronto, and that the team is even more secure with the revenue it gets from playing an annual game in Toronto.
This is good news to hear, as I don't want to see Buffalo lose it's team just because it is not successful. A team should only move if the team is good and the revenue is still down in the dumps.
Secondly, Goodell proclaimed that the rookie contracts are "ridiculous." Thank you Roger. Thank you. Every human on Earth has been saying this, and now that an authority figure has said it, maybe there will be some changes with the NFL rookie contracts.

On Saturday, a no-hitter for the ages was brought to us from the Angels and the Dodgers, and I include the Dodgers because they played the biggest part in this game.
Jered Weaver and Jose Arredondo combined to throw a no-hitter in 8 innings. Yet, the Dodgers were still winning 1-0 heading to the top of the ninth. The Angels couldn't tie the game, and the game ended 1-0 with the Dodgers winning, even without registering a hit.
Yet, it doesn't even count as a no-hitter anyway. The MLB does not recognize any no-hit performance if it is less than 9 innings pitched. But the Angels still went down in the record books. They (the Angels) became just the fifth team in the Modern Era (1900-present) to no-hit the other other team and lose.
How did the Dodgers score? Jered Weaver made an error in the fifth inning to put Matt Kemp on first base. Kemp then stole second base, and advanced to third on the throwing error to second. Kemp scored on a sacrifice fly.
The controversial part of this game was if the error by Weaver was indeed an error. I say it was an error. Anyone who knows baseball knows that a ball moving slowly or not moving at all needs to be picked up with your hand so you can throw it quicker and pick it up easier. Weaver missed the ball.
Also, if he had gotten the ball, Kemp would have been out, and that is what I call an error.

The 2008 NBA Draft was a big attraction this week. Derrick Rose was picked at number one, followed by Michael Beasley at two, and O.J. Mayo at three. Russell Westbrook and Kevin Love rounded out the top five.
I would have selected Michael Beasley at number one, Derrick Rose at number two, Kevin Love at number three, O.J. Mayo at number four, and Brook Lopez at number four.
But, the draft just went a different way. Darrell Arthur and Chris Douglas-Roberts fell far in the draft, yet I expect these players to become the two best players of this draft class.

The Spaniards are the champions. Yesiree, the Spanish National Team has won the UEFA Euro 2008 Championship by defeating Germany today 1-0.
Fernando Torres registered the only goal of the match for either teams in the 33rd minute. This is Spain's second Euro title and first since 1964.
Despite the low score, Spain dominated the play. They out-shot the Germans all game, especially in the last 20 minutes when they out-shot Germany 7-1.
Spain truly deserved to win. They became just the second team (other was France) to go 3-0 in group play, and also go on to win the cup. Spain can now rejoice as their long drought is over and they have finally won the Euro Cup.

That's all she (more like he...) wrote for this week. If I forgot something major in the world of sports this past week, then please let me know by comment on this article and I'll be sure to include your thoughts if you comment this article in my next week in review.
Have a great week and be sure to look out for more of my articles this week and my next edition of "The Week in Review" next Sunday.

The Media and Sports: A Lethal Mix

The pitch from Mussina. Swing and a long drive! This ball could leave the park! It is...off the wall on a bounce! And Manny Ramirez is...oh no! He watched the ball fly through the air from home plate, and he ends up with only a single!

Ah, the sweet swing and the sweet smile of Manny makes for a perfect figure for baseball. The fans love him, his teammates love him, and the media loves him. But, I bet you his skipper, Terry Francona, is upset with him most of the time. The reason? Well, as we all know, Manny watches and admires his work after a nice long ball, and sometimes the ball doesn't even go out of the park! I'm fine with his slapping the hand of a fan, or going into the wall at Fenway, because that's just fun and it doesn't harm anything or anyone. But, he costs his team runs when he gets a single out of what should be a double. And, he isn't the only player to do this.

After Ken Griffey Jr. hit no. 600, the first thing I noticed was the fact that he just jogged right from the start. When Barry Bonds hit no. 756, what did Bonds do? He put his hands in the air like he just don't care. And tonight, watching SportsNet Philadelphia and SportsCenter, I see that after almost every home run, each player admires their work and doesn't do more than jog right from the start. And in some of those games, the players' team hitting the home run is down by more than 5 runs! Hey moron, you are down by 5 runs! Stop your celebrating!

I see a big problem with this, and it starts with the media.

Tonight, I want you to watch SportsCenter, and take notes of everything they show. What do they show in baseball? Mostly the home runs and the spectacular diving plays, most of which the players don't need to dive. They don't show the tremendous throws, or the great pitches, or just the all around smart and genuine plays. What about football? They show the touchdowns or the great catches or the interceptions. They don't show the great coverages by defenses, or the great pass blocking by offensive lines, or the great route running. Those are the true aspects of the game. So, if you really want to take notes, even mental notes, then go ahead, and then compare them to this. It will be shockingly similar. (I won't continue to other sports just for the mere fact of space and not boring the heck out of you.)

So, my main point is, the media shows these things because they are the flashy plays. They are the plays that appeal to people. And, I'm not mad about that. What I don't like is what they do to the plays. They basically "spike" them. They add special effects, songs, highlight reels, and top 10's. All of that makes players feel like they want to be more flashy and do that touchdown dance, and flex the muscle after they dunk, and pump their fist to their heart after a home run in which they jogged from the start.

I don't blame the players for this at all, and I know it is fun for them. But, it isn't genuine to the game. The media is taking the important aspects of the game away from the game. Before, a player would run his heart out after each hit, even if it was hit to Pluto. He would dunk the ball and just run back, or simply just lay it up. He would just flip the ball to the referee and go to the sideline. Now, the media makes all the celebrations seem like the best part of the game. But, what ever happened to those fundamentals above? Almost nobody ever runs a ground ball out. The pitcher often forgets to cover the bag. And now, most corner backs are just going for the interception when they know they won't get it when you could defend the receiver and maybe stop the pass. These are the things that can give a team a win or a loss.

I know the media is just doing their job. I don't blame them for what they do, because, who doesn't like to watch that big dunk? I know I want to see it. But, in the back of my head, I still know that I would like the game better without the flashiness that the media has imported. Things like the NFL and NBA drafts are also "flashed out", when they really should just be covered like the MLB and NHL drafts are: quietly. The media takes everything that appeals to the public and makes it the biggest story of the day. And, it's ruining the sports we love.

Look at what Goodell said today about rookie contracts. He called rookie contracts "ridiculous". They truly are ridiculous. But, part of the high contracts is the coverage each player gets, and the amount the draft itself is covered.

Also, all these players in the NFL going to jail and getting in trouble with the law is linked to the media in some parts. With the way the media portrays sports stars as hero's, some players think of themselves as untouchable, and they end up in the wrong place doing something they will regret.

All in all, watching the home run, the dunk, the touchdown is exciting, but, it is ruining the genuine part of the game. The truly spectacular plays like a 6-4-3 double play is what should be showed, not the flashy plays like a home run that means nothing to a game.

Sports and the media mixed together may seem like a success, but, in reality, it is destroying the games we know and love.

Adrian Peterson-To Believe, or Not to Believe

Do you think Adrian Peterson can repeat his rookie season? Have you seen enough of him to think he can do it again? If so, how sure are you?I think this guy can repeat his rookie season just as much as I think my refrigerator will talk to me and give me the weather. I am just simply not ready to believe in such an inexperienced player like him and still think he will be a sure fire standout.

I have not seen enough consistent play from him to think he can be a great RB. He only achieved over 100 yards 6 times, and you think he can still be a great RB? I don't. Now, when he did get over 100 yards, he got 200 yards two of those times. But, that's not enough. To have 6 games over 100 yards, but 8 under 100 yards, and of the 8 times, your highest be 78 yards rushing, that isn't enough. And, it's not like he didn't get carries; Only once did he not get 10 carries or more. I need to see an actually consistent year before I rely on Adrian Peterson. Also, it looks like defenses are actually starting to figure him out. The last four weeks of the season, Peterson rushed for 3 yards on 14 carries, 78 yards on 20 carriers, 27 yards on 9 carries, and 36 yards on 11 carries. All four of those times was a less than 4 yards per carry average, and he only got a TD in one of those games, which was the 78 yards on 20 carries in which he got two TD's. But, that's it. Finally, Adrian Peterson does not have a flow to his running style that guys like Steven Jackson do. Peterson is more prone to injuries because of his running style as well. He runs "straight up". That makes him more likely to get a hit to the knee and him go down awkwardly. Also, he doesn't know how to get tackled. If you want to have a long career, you better know how to get tackled. Peterson just doesn't. Now, he can fix his running style, but, until I see him do it, and he becomes a more consistent RB, I will not rely on him, and I don't believe he can repeat his rookie season.

So, what is your opinion on this young and inexperienced running back? Comment on this post and I will post your opinion in my next post. I'm interested in your feedback.

Clean Clothes, A Not So Clean League

So, now that I have replaced my Scope covered clothes with clean clothes (I spilled the Scope on my clothes when I finally opened it), I suppose I will talk about the not so clean NFL. (And BTW, the Listerine bottles are no better. They are like a darn medieval helmet, I still didn't figure out how to open them)

It seems the creepiness of Roger Goodell is about as big as John Daly's creepiness, yet, Goodell has only made the citizens of the United States cringe, while the players in his league have just blew the guy off. Adam Jones, Michael Vick, Chris Henry, Dwayne Jarrett, maybe Marshawn Lynch, and now Brandon Marshall (how could you my man?!), plus many more have been either put in jail, or are facing a DUI or a DWI. Which makes me bring up the point: why the heck do they have two terms for basically the same infraction of the law? Maybe they were drunk themselves when they made the laws. Who knows. Anyway, the list just keeps growing, and half of those names have just been added recently, so, it doesn't seem to be slowing down. This is a problem in the league I know and very much love.

First of all, Roger Goodell has done as much as he could to slow this down. But, the NFL is rapidly becoming the butt of all jokes. The NBA used to be the big clown league because a lot of people considered those players "thugs" (come on, besides crazy European soccer fans, who starts a mosh pit in the middle of a game?), but, in a few months, if the NFL keeps up it's rep, it will become the premier thug league and Ron Artest may have to consider a league change. So, here are my tips for Goodell to put the NFL back into order so the courts in Philadelphia stadiums won't have to start being used for players instead of fans.

1. Approve the rule that no alcohol is allowed on organization grounds. This rule is enforced by some MLB teams, and, this could help players maybe driving home from a game not drink, and stay more protected. Plus, it could lower the amount of alcohol they drink, which is a plus for your team.
2. Approve a rule that a player arrested more than three times will face a minimum two game suspension without pay. It will make players more convinced not to get caught, and, if they get caught twice, they will make sure not to get caught again, which could even help their overall attitude after a while.
3. My final suggestion is to approve a rule that every player must take a mandatory drug test once a week. Also, if another player or coach suspects a player not sober, they can report it and a drug test will be taken.

So, those are my three suggestions, now, someone call Goodell and tell him about this because I'm too scared of the guy to do it myself, and if I did it myself, I would ruin the pants I just put on, and we don't want to see that.

Oh, and if you noticed, I actually talked about my blog title in this post, and I did not intend on that. I talked about medieval times, which relates to round tables, and I talked about Roger Goodell. How cooliodiciosius is that?